What happens when you move in the middle of planning a wedding to a completely different state?
Talk about things with your fiancé. Discuss how important your initial plans were and what you want to keep and what you want/need to change. Start brainstorming the pro’s and con’s of 1st changing everything to a new state vs. planning out of state. 2nd how budget might be different. Example: my fiancé and I moved from a little town in Eastern Kentucky to a big city… Cleveland, OH. Essentially, our $7,000 budget went from covering the whole wedding in Kentucky to being a down payment on a caterer and photographer in Cleveland. Research, research, research all your options.
What should you do?
Don’t’ panic. Okay, panic a little. But know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. This happens all the time to people. If your plans have changed, immediately inform people that plans have changed and gather your and finalize guest list as soon as possible. Seconds after that, send out save-the-dates as a courtesy so people know your new plans are set in stone.
How much do you change?
From nothing, to everything. My fiancé and I had to change 90% of what we had initially planned. Cleveland is miles more expensive than little ol’ Richmond, KY. So, we had to improvise. It all just depends on what you’re willing to work with or not work with. We didn’t feel like having to do work across state lines, so we moved our nuptials up north! Someone may have better connections in our situation and may find it easier to deal across state lines!
Our theme didn’t change either! Initially we wanted to have our wedding at a distillery in Kentucky and do a very DIY-chic thing. When we found a venue (my aunts enormous back yard with a pond), we found that nothing would really have to change decor or theme-wise.
When you’re in this situation, it’s not about how much you change – it’s about how you can work with what you find. Just because we moved from middle-of-nowhere Kentucky to fast-paced Cleveland doesn’t mean we have to change our theme, the decor, the colors, or anything.
How to be savvy?
Do research. Sometimes Knot.com and Wedding Wire can give you false information and reviews about a specific vendor. So use them as guidelines and contact the vendors yourself and physically meet up with them. Especially if you’re new to the city and don’t know anyone yet. I know that’s the exact opposite of what they taught you in grade school, but hopefully by now you know how to deal with strangers – but when it comes to vendors, people can hide behind a computer screen or play you on a phone call… to really gather a persons character you kind of have to meet them in person.
Always meet vendors on YOUR terms and in a public place and travel in a group…. I.E. Bring the fiancé, best man/maid of honor, or mom and dad. We prefer to meet at a restaurant with a well lit parking lot. Safety is important!
Go local. When you research, look for local vendors instead of major chain vendors. I’ve found that local vendors tend to have a network and can help you find other vendors. It’s an awesome snowball of wedding help! Local companies, I’ve also found, are more likely to negotiate and work with your situation. All of the vendors that I’ve come in contact with have been super supportive and want us to have a great wedding day – rather than just make a ton of money. They’ve been the type of people that treat us like family vs. treating us like clients. We discovered this character quality as an important one because weddings are about family!
So really, this post was just to let others know that they are not alone in this wedding-moving madness. I sought help in the internet on wedding forums and Google to help me and my fiance scrap this shindig together in 8 months.
I’m still trying to get myself to believe that everything is going to work out and that I shouldn’t worry as much… but worrying comes with the territory! So do some yoga, go on a run, and keep up with your timelines to avoid problems. And please… when you’re planning a wedding and getting down to crunch time, make some time for yourself. It all will work out in the end!